Raise The Praise~

I wrote in a previous entry that for those who have been through some really tough times, it can seem as though we’re experiencing one long, continuous season of struggle. Even when you’ve endured great hardships, the road to recovery isn’t paved with gold… It’s a bit of a rocky, maybe even uncharted path that can make you wonder at times if it’s worth continuing. The temptation to give up and settle into the new, very grim “norm” will try to override the possibilities of rediscovery. Recovery takes time, dedication, and sacrifice… We’re headed to a place of peace and rest, but we must also be kind to ourselves on the journey.

I know I haven’t been very kind to myself. I think we have all been guilty of this as well. We judge the process in ourselves, and judge our ability to recoup our losses. I believe it has to do with our expectations regarding recovery. We believe when we’ve suffered we’ve earned some kind of “free pass” for immediate advancement past anymore “processes”. Well, let’s say that’s what I wanted, that’s what I expected, and I believed I had earned it through all I had experienced. Surely, when you go through there’s going to be a glorious unfolding of restoration and redemption that will make it all better. Basically, a break… Just tired, right? 🙂 I believe, however, that because of our expectation of recovery we often miss the process God is working in us. It gets right past us because it doesn’t look or feel like we thought it should. This happened to me; coming out just didn’t feel like I expected. And because it didn’t look or feel as I thought it should, I wasn’t grateful, thankful, or able to draw from the beauty of what God had done. There were green pastures and still waters all around me, but there was something missing.

I was led to contemplate the dilemma recently while talking with someone about the process of restoration. I was “fine”, but I didn’t want fine; I wanted done and over. This person did, too. After the conversation the Holy Spirit spoke to me: “it’s the memory…” And I responded right back “Memory of what?” He repeated it again, then said “the sounds of joy are mixed with the sounds of weeping…” Wow. He nailed it on the head, as He ALWAYS does. I was led to the history of the Children of Israel’s return to Zion as documented in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah. They were in the process of returning from exile, rebuilding the temple, and restoring the glory which once was. I began to incorporate parts of these stories into my time of study by the leading of the Holy Spirit. He talked to me about what restoration looked and felt like for them, and correlated it to us and our seasons. While rebuilding the temple and laying the foundation, something occurred among God’s people that happens to us as well when we’re on the mend. Memories began to rise. “It’s the memory…” Ezra 3:12-13 NIV (my abridged version)

But many of the older priests [Levites; family heads also], had seen the former temple, and wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise.

It’s the memory of what was that often makes it difficult to fully embrace what is, and fully commit to hoping in what will be. We’re beginning to see the foundation rebuilt, but somehow, somewhere deep within us, something just isn’t the same. We recollect the struggle, the journey, and how much more that must be done to have some semblance of wholeness…and we remember what’s been lost… The sounds of restoration in our lives are frequently “mixed” sounds, just like the sound of these people in the above passage. We’re praising God because we’re alive; we made it, the weapon was formed, it didn’t prosper, and we’re STILL HERE! But… We didn’t come out without a scar, or limp. We have a long road ahead. Do we have the strength to rebuild? Will we live to see it all? Will it ever really be as it once was? There’s so much more in my heart, but I feel led to pause for reflection here.

With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD: “He is good; His love to Israel endures forever.” And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. Ezra 3:11 NIV

Consider This: We’ve come through, the foundation has been laid, but we are being robbed of the joy that comes from starting over, rebuilding, or recouping. There is much to celebrate; God is faithful to His people and to His Word, and we shall recover. Therefore, we can’t allow our memory of whatever hardship we endured to negate the revelation of His goodness in our recovery. The new you may not meet others’ expectations, and that impacts our perception of our process as well. However, the weeping must be overrun with praises from the Living Well that’s within us. There is a deeper place we can draw from; by His Spirit we must allow God to bring a revelation of our future that we may not see. It will strengthen our faith so that we can lift a mighty shout worthy of the Mighty God we serve. He promised after a little while He would establish us (1 Peter 5:10). Call on the well of the Spirit to overflow in you while you allow the foundations of a glorious “new you” to be formed by Your Loving Father. Raise the praise above the doubts, fears, and memories; welcome to a wiser, stronger, better YOU, by His Grace.

Who Sinned? Suffering, continued…

Suffering always begs the question, “why?” We ask ourselves, ask God; maybe even ask others. Suffering is rarely done in silence or shrouded in secrecy. Even if we’re able to keep the specifics to ourselves, it’s difficult to hide pain, distress, depression, or other physical and emotional signs that speak of the turmoil brewing just beneath the surface. It seems no matter how we try to hold it together, we’re always cognizant of our anguish; and you can be sure there is at least ONE someone who is aware also. The moment others become aware, we can also be fairly certain we’ll be asked “why”. Maybe not “why”; but undoubtedly “how”? How did you get here? How did this happen? Daunting…

When we’re hurting, we have an inherent need to know who or what’s “responsible” for our state or condition. I remember a scene in my all-time favorite Christmas season movie “A Christmas Story”. The main character, “childhood Ralphie”, narrated by the “grown-up Ralphie”, tells a story of getting in trouble for using a bad word. He recalls lying in his bed crying after getting his mouth washed out with soap. He literally fantasized of becoming blind and destitute, and coming back to his parents’ home to blame his lowly state of “the blind beggar” on them for giving him soap poisoning. (That’ll fix them!) 🙂 But it speaks to our need to identify the object of our pain so we can lay blame; we believe it will make us feel better somehow. It also further begs the question, why do we feel the need to ask others “why” or “how” they came to their state of suffering or hardship. I began to think about it and realized I do it, too; instinctively… I’d like to think it’s because it helps us connect, understand, empathize, or share in their pain somehow. But after considering a specific situation I struggled with recently, the Holy Spirit challenged that explanation: “Why do you need to know ‘how’ or ‘why’ in order to care about someone’s suffering?”

These moments of contemplation came as I wallowed in self-pity, shame, anger and disgust with myself, and a whole barrage of negative emotions over something I was dealing with. The Lord asked me, “Who sinned?”… I’m thinking “not now, Lord, I feel bad enough, I don’t need anything else to consider”. But every time my mind would fall on my situation, He would repeat this question in my hearing. Once I yielded my mind to Him, I realized He wasn’t asking me, He was reminding me of a passage of scripture in the Gospel of John. The passage is as follows in the New King James Version:

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  (John 9:1-2)

People want to know. I have often wanted to know. No doubt, this man wanted to know “what did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? I can’t think of anything I could’ve done from the womb… Maybe it was my parents.” I pondered the disciples’ secret inquest; “My Lord, they really felt the need to pick this man’s life apart and find out ‘whodunnit’.” We fear suffering; we do everything we can to hedge against it, and when it happens (because something is bound to happen) we do everything under the sun to figure out how to get out of it… I propose that while we may want to sympathize with others, we inquire because want to know either 1); how to get out of “that”, or 2); how to avoid “that”. So much so, that if someone is born disadvantaged, we study their dysfunction until we find an answer. We’re just like those disciples; but we’re evolved. We want to know: “what by their DNA are they predisposed to?”, or “what did (s)he do with all that money?” 🙂 We examine people on talk shows and reality shows in a bubble as we discuss their dilemmas daily… But the Holy Spirit pointed out to me Jesus’s response to His disciples’ questions, and it has revolutionized my perspective on suffering beyond measure.

Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” (John 9:3 NKJV)

The Holy Spirit stirred my heart, “Don’t you love how Jesus shifted to focus off of the source of suffering onto the purpose of suffering?” Yes, Lord… Yes I do. There’s no doubt the parents and the man had a sin-nature, and over time developed sin consciousness, and probably had committed sin, maybe even MANY sins, for “all have sinned”(Romans 3:23), and “there’s none righteous, not one” (Romans 3:10). And while through one man’s sin (Adam), all sin, suffering, and death entered the world, Jesus didn’t assign this man’s current state to sin. The Good News Translation of John 9:3 says it this way:

Jesus answered, “His blindness has nothing to do with his sins or his parents’ sins. He is blind so that God’s power might be seen at work in him.”

This is a powerful revelation of Grace and Truth to every believer, for God has fulfilled His wrath against the sins of man through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When we face difficulties, sicknesses, when we fall or fail, or when we suffer, God is not punishing us for sin. The reason I believe the Holy Spirit wants you and me to stop asking “who sinned”, is because it shifts our focus from the finished works of our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, to the destroyed works of our accuser, Satan. Christ purchased our freedom from punishment and we are now in right-standing with our Father. He promised us in Isaiah 32:17; the effect of righteousness [which we now have through Jesus Christ] will be peace, and the result of righteousness is quietness and trust [a new relationship with God, our Father] forever…

Consider This: God allows NOTHING to come upon our lives that He can’t use to bring glory to Him, or through which He cannot demonstrate His Love and Grace. In fact, there is NOTHING that Our God cannot work for our good and His glory. We belong to Him, and He wants to make us living epistles, a love letter written to the world through us; we are always, and are always becoming, living, breathing testimonies. Are there things we find along our journey in Christ that we can do differently? Better? YES. But even the knowledge and will to do better is a demonstration of the power of God working His goodness in us. So I am asking God daily to change my perspective from the lies of the accuser, to the truth of my Redeemer. According to Romans 10:11 anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame. Grasp and perceive this truth: every trial in every believer’s life is an opportunity to see God work; not relegate blame and shame…

Stewardship of Suffering~

The subject is staggering, so let’s dive in…

In a moment of sharing with a friend and sister in the faith, the Holy Spirit swoops in as only He can do, and deposits a word of knowledge and revelation that astounded me. I wrote some things to my sister in an anointed moment of edification prompted by the Spirit; before I knew what I was saying I was typing… I began to tell this person I was praying she be strengthened to steward over her suffering; that her suffering was an assignment of stewardship. “Assignment of stewardship?” I thought, “What in the world is that?”

Although I felt a moment of trepidation as I was typing, I continued to write… “I pray He continues to strengthen you for the things which He’s given you to steward; for even struggles are an assignment of stewardship. We are to set examples in the Earth of endurance, faith, and covenant relationship, built on the truth of Our Father… We may not know, but He knows who’s watching. He Himself is watching over you also, and you will be rewarded for all you endure with grace and faith.” I was obedient to the Spirit’s leading and received confirmation by the acceptance of those words with peace. His words brought understanding and comfort, which is one of the primary titles of the Holy Spirit; He’s our “Comforter”, “Counselor”, or “Paraclete”.  Even when we aren’t certain we understand it all, we can know it’s the Holy Spirit when the word is edifying, comforting, and strengthens our faith and hope in the love and goodness of Our Heavenly Father. Any word that causes us to trust in The Lord and His infinite Wisdom and Grace is of the Holy Spirit…

As I read it back into my own hearing I thought, “Wow… It really IS encouraging…” But I also began to question the concept of stewardship in this context. I require context or reference; otherwise I grapple with these moments of revelation. Then I immediately heard, “Hast thou considered my servant Job…”? (Job 1:8; 2:3) He was entrusted by God with suffering. There are many more examples, including our Savior, Jesus Christ. Then I wondered; just what kind of steward have I been over suffering in my life? Have I waited patiently on The Lord and allowed His Sovereign Wisdom and Grace to guide me? Or have I unknowingly fought against an opportunity to be used by God as a steward over a difficult season? Why do we feel as though we should always curse the unpleasant seasons? The minute things get rough we start casting out, casting down, rebuking everything and everyone that appears to be causing, or perhaps adding to, our season of discomfort and struggle. Is it not true that we all must suffer something? I began to “defend us” 🙂 “Lord, it’s not that we don’t think we shouldn’t go through anything. It’s that at times it seems the storm didn’t end at all; just went from one storm to the next…” The process of healing and deliverance can seem so slow it’s almost indiscernible because we often don’t come out unscathed; or maybe we feel as though we didn’t make it out at all. We develop a defeatist mindset; this is our lot. Struggle.

As I’m sharing this dialogue, I want to interject this: talking with God by His Spirit is what we often disregard as “talking to ourselves”. But if you’re engaging in a mind and soul conversation that’s admonishing you, challenging your perspective on your situation, or encouraging you to cling to hope when at your lowest… That’s not you; that’s God reasoning with you by His Spirit which resides in you and is ever-present to help you. So once I made my “argument”, He challenged me: “Erika…To curse the season is as unwitting as cursing the sun for going down, cursing the earth for orbiting, or for rotating on its axis… Does no one deserve to have sunshine but you? And if I let the sun shine always, would you REALLY enjoy that?” Well… No, I wouldn’t. And OK, no one deserves perpetual darkness because I want it to always shine on me. But what about people like Bill Gates? He doesn’t have “seasons”. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me: “the man and his entire business, livelihood, and future was threatened by lawsuits from the US Department of Justice and anyone else that could get a piece of him… Antitrust suits? He could have served time for that… At one point there were multiple attacks at once over YEARS. Does that sound like perpetual sunshine to you?”   *…envy NO one.*

I believe that because this is resonating deeply with me, I have to write at least once more on this subject. God has more to say… So let’s pause for reflection… Here’s the text He brought to my attention for our consideration; it’s Romans 5:3-5 NLT:

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.

Consider This: According to this passage, suffering, trials, or struggles are supposed to be building a foundation in us. God’s intent is to develop a confident hope that rests in His love for us. When we endure the journey set before us with the proper outlook, we allow our hearts to be cultivated by God through our circumstance.  We are assured that if we receive the counsel of this text, we’ll have the strength we need for a confident hope in our deliverance, and THIS hope won’t let us down. Hoping in the right thing, God’s love, is what makes the difference. God has given us His Spirit to help us. He’s in us, and He’s prepared to enlighten the eyes of our hearts if we yield our understanding (Ephesians 1:18).

Worry and Fear~

I believe Proverbs 4:23 is probably the most quoted verse when it comes to seeking guidance for protecting our hearts, but it’s not the only one. In my personal studies in this season, God is impressing upon me from a different passage to seek direction in the process of preparing my heart to receive from Him at a deeper level… Philippians 4:6-7.

In yielding to this exploration of my heart by the Holy Spirit, I am prompted to consider things that need to be “weeded” out. The reality of fear weighed heavily on me; especially its impact on my relationship with God. What are my fears? Why? Where and when did I develop those fears? We guard against, and subsequently become hardened by, what we fear. Fear has the power to alter the condition of our hearts and impact our ability to relate with others as God desires. But how does Philippians 4:6-7 (my abridged NLT) play into my understanding fear and guarded hearts? Let’s read:

Don’t worry about anything, but instead pray about everything; with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Holy Spirit impelled me to see worry as fear and anxiety coupled with the sense of uncertainty; uncertainty over issues that incites angst, and even worse, the “unknown”… You could take several different words and produce the same admonition: “Don’t be fearful about anything”, “Don’t be anxious about anything”, “Don’t be tormented by anything”… I was literally tormented by fear and anxiety over the cares of life, the pain of rejection, the fear of loss, financial woes, you name it… Fear is a very powerful emotion when it comes to relationship, because it impairs our ability to trust and causes us to improperly process issues as they arise. Trust is so closely linked to faith; faith is what the word of God produces in us by His Spirit. We trust as a result of the faith that is seeded into, or “hidden”, in our hearts. Trust is one of the primary corresponding demonstrations of faith. But if we are guarding our hearts due to fear (whatever that fear may be), faith-filled words that should be hidden in that fearful, guarded, hardened place can’t take root.

I’m grateful to the Holy Spirit for illuminating Philippians 4:6-7 to me. In order for me to have a better relationship with My Heavenly Father I MUST shift the responsibility of guarding my heart to Him. The truly guarded heart is one that experiences an indescribable, immeasurable, transcendent level of peace in God. I have to trust Him with anything and everything that matters to me, and thank Him for taking care of me and “it”, whatever “it” may be. I need God-Graced, God-breathed peace to saturate my life because I can’t carry “it” any longer.

Fear makes good look bad, and right look wrong… Luke 6:28 says “Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” But I’ve seen fear make people curse those sent to bless, and mistreat those they should be praying for. So how do we know who’s what? We simply cannot know it all. He doesn’t want us to stress ourselves with it either. We must value the gift of communication with God – we must pray. Pray about everything. EVERYTHING. We must linger in His presence, spend time in His word, get to know His ways and voice, let Him reveal what is essential, and let go of the rest. We must yield our understanding to His in order to be cultivated into people who reflect His Kingdom in the Earth. Our lives are not our own if we are in Christ; we have traded this world’s systems for the Kingdom of God, and it’s a system we must learn to properly function in to bring His Kingdom into the Earth. I know He doesn’t want you and me to carry the weight of concerns as the world does; He promised “His yoke is easy and His burden is light”. But we must “learn of Him…” – we must allow our hearts to be joined to His because this connection yields rest for our souls… Let’s read Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV) here together:

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Now let’s focus…

Consider This: Allowing ourselves to be open sounds like a vulnerable position. It is; IF we’re more open to everything and everyone else than we are to GOD. There’s no way to guard ourselves apart from Him, and when we take the time to cultivate a proper relationship with Him, talk to Him about everything, and trust Him with everything especially our hearts, He’s promised to guard our hearts and lighten the load. We can’t manage without Him; there are too many unknown factors in our journey to attempt to navigate alone. We need the kind of peace that carries us beyond our understanding. We need the peace of Almighty God to guard our hearts from all of life’s challenges. I know I need Him, and I’m certain I’m not alone. Let’s consider these passages of scripture with new revelation and allow Him to lighten the burden of guarding our hearts. It’s time to give it all over to the One who Sees and Knows ALL…